Love on the River

"Get any love today?"

The guides always ask each other this after a trip. It's not as crass as it sounds. What they're really asking is whether or not the guide got tipped. Yes, even here in the Great Outdoors, people equate money with love.

It's a strong association. So strong, in fact, that a low tip or, even worse, no tip at all, frequently leads to intense periods of self-doubt. It's a bizarre phenomenon. Most of the guests on the Nantahala fully-guided trips have little to no whitewater experience. They could no more evaluate the skills of their river guide than make apt comparisons between Michelin-starred chefs. Whitewater, like extremely fine dining, is simply beyond the realm of average experience. Nevertheless, guides use tips to measure their success.  Failure to receive a tip after a good trip (no one went for an unintentional swim, the raft didn’t get stuck, no one was hit by a paddle or a tree branch) is a baffling experience. “No love today,” is a remark often followed by, “What am I doing wrong?” Alas, guide quality and tip are utterly uncorrelated. I got $10 on one trip and $40 on the next. I doubt there was substantial improvement in the guest experience between the first trip and the next, three hours later.

Just like conventional love, there is no logic to raft guides’ fiscal interpretation. Instead, there is boundless bliss (big tip) and dark troughs of despair (no tip).